most importantly, she is safe! Thank goodness she is ok because I honestly don’t know how I’d survive without her.
She also decided that it is time for me to start trying to lose some weight since we’re headed back to America in less than 2 weeks. Mom says that it’s not fashionable to be fat in America like it is in Tanzania so I’ll have to try to slim down if I want people to think I’m cute. Therefore, it’s diet dog food for me:
Weight Watchers for dogs
Can you tell how embarrassed I am?
Luckily, as a consolation for the diet dog food, she let me eat some Dutch cheese and cuddle with her.
Cheese from Amsterdam
You can’t win ’em all, I suppose…
she got me some Emirati dog food!
Dubai Dog Food!
Mom said she almost got me diet dog food (gasp), but decided to get me the small breed kind instead and said that I’ll go on a diet when I get back to America, RUDE! Personally, I think she got this kind for me because it promises to give me “firm stool quality” and we all know how much my mom loves a good, firm poop!
Yup, this’ll do
Also, I think I could make a lot of money performing tricks on the Burj Khalifa (which, by the way, always makes me think of Wiz Khalifa, being the gangsta dogg that I am). What do you think?
Working hard for my money
Today, while out for our afternoon run, no less than five, FIVE, people yelled at mom, “Give Me Dog” or variations on that theme. For the entire loop we were serenaded by, “Nipe mbwa” “Give me mbwa” or “Give me doggie”. Come on people, if you want something, at least say please! If one of those people even tried to touch me or mom, you know I would have bitten their dumb hand off!
I mean really, what was this guy:
or this guy:
Other Tanzanian guy
gonna do with me? You better believe he wouldn’t let me sleep on one of those mattresses (not that I would even want to since they’re the crappy TanFoam variety). They’d probably make me sleep outside with all the local dogs and feed me ugali, DISGUSTING! I’d say that most Tanzanians, except for Ellen of course, would have no clue how to take care of me.
Me and Ellen
So, I’ll be sticking with my mom, sleeping on her memory foam bed, eating my healthy and holistic American dog food, and drinking bottled water, thank you very much!
1st-world living in a 3rd-world world