Posts Tagged With: East Africa

NewsFlash: Bo Obama Receives Visiting Dognitaries From Furuguay, Fails to Mention East Arfrican Dognitary

In world news today, there are stories circulating about the Furuguayan dognitaries who recently visited with First Dog Bo Obama.  Here is the story in its entirety:

Screen Shot 2013-01-31 at 7.45.31 PM

“WOOFINGTON, D.C.—Aiming to strengthen yiplomatic relations with the nation of Furuguay, Bo Obama welcomed a visiting doglegation from the overseas country to the White House Thursday for talks on a wide range of vital rufforms.

The historic meeting—the first time a sitting Furuguayan dognitary has visited Woofington since the Checkers Administration—began with a traditional photo op on the White House portico, in which the two leaders formally greeted one another by shaking paws. After brief prepared rebarks, Bo and the Furuguayan diplomutts reportedly retired to the South Lawn for a private discussion of minimum wag laws and a pending flea trade agreement.

“Bo and Cesar dug in right away and weren’t afraid to get their paws dirty on the tough issues,” said Bo’s press secretary, Chiclets, noting that the two sides spent hours sitting and speaking, and occasionally chasing squirrels. “Furuguay is a developing nation, and unfortunately much of its poor pupulation lives in abject slobberty. That’s why Bo has agreed to a comprehensive aid package that includes thousands of tons of heartworm medicine and emergency Ken-L Rations.”

“It should just be a formality shepherding the relief bill through both doghouses of Congress,” Chiclets added.

In addition to reaching an aid deal, the two leaders are said to have talked extensively about the ongoing situation in Arfghanistan, where Tailiban insurgents continue to commit heinous acts of terrierism and aggressively defend what they consider their territory. According to sources, Furuguayan officials pledged to deploy several hundred well-trained rovert ops soldiers along the Pugistan border to help multinational FIDO forces sniff out and put down the Muzzlem extremists.

Additionally, both sides vowed to tighten treat sanctions on the disobedient nation of North Corgia.

“Bo and Cesar believe we’ve been chasing our tails for far too long with North Corgia, and agree that it’s time to put our paw down on the matter,” Chiclets said. “We’ve tried waving a big stick in talks with the North Corgians, but they simply refuse to roll over. And we’ve also tried offering them a variety of rewards to bring them under the negotiating table, but to no avail. Listen, we’re not going to beg here.”

“They’re being bad,” Chiclets added. “Very, very bad.”

Following the busy day of negotiations and an exciting ride in the presidential motorcade, the Furuguayan representatives were treated to an extravagant state dinner that is said to have featured a variety of rawhide appetizers, a six-course meal of kibble, chow, and wet food, and a mouth-watering bone dessert, all served in gold-rimmed fine china bowls on the White House’s opulent East Room floor.

According to the guest list, over 300 of the biggest figures in Woofington pawlitics attended the gala event to celebrate the countries’ renewed ties and sniff each other’s anal glands. Among those spotted at the fete were the Barker of the House and Bo’s longtime best friend Barack Obama.

Though there was one instance when bilateral talks were disrupted by a ringing doorbell, handlers strongly praised the two dognitaries, unanimously hailing the visit and state dinner as a major achomplishment for both countries.

“Clawing out agreements is not easy, but I think we made major strides today,” said Chiclets. “We know Furuguay will always remain loyal.”

According to aides, Bo and Fetchury Secretary Marshmallow are slated to travel later this week to Poocharest, Romania for the K-9 summit, which will bring together doglegates from the nine wealthiest purebred nations to seek solutions to the ongoing global felinancial cat-astrophe.” — the Onion

The only thing wrong with this article is that it failed to mention the East Arfrican dognitary (Yours Truly) who was also in attendance.  But doesn’t Arfrica always get pushed out of the spotlight?  And if my word isn’t enough, here’s visual proof of our very important tête-à-tête.

Bo and I

Bo and I

Advertisements
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Mom Turns … OLD

On Saturday it was my mom’s 30th birthday.  As the title says, my mom is OLD!  If she was a dog she’d be 133!  However, when I’m 4 and one quarter years old, it will be like I’m 30 in human years so you might say that my mom is still young.  I think she’d prefer to think of herself as 4.25 rather than 133! (FYI, I got these stats from http://www.onlineconversion.com/dogyears.htm).

Mom went out on the eve of her birthday to enjoy her last hours in her 20’s and when she got home she was disabled.  For Real!  She couldn’t walk and I didn’t know what to do.  Here’s what her ankle looked like:

Compared to her other ankle

Mom’s birthday ankle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My poor mom just had to keep her foot on a pillow all day on her actual birthday with a package of ice on it.  I didn’t particularly mind this arrangement since the ice bag tasted like food from the freezer so I sat and licked the bag while mom iced her foot.  I like to think that my healing energy was being passed from me to her while I licked that ice bag.

I’m very protective of my mom so after she was done icing, I guarded her injury the best way I know how: by laying on it!

Protecting my mom

You might wonder how my mom managed to hurt herself so badly.  Well, the way she tells it she was out with my crush, Miss Megan, Miss Miranda, and Jordan.  They were leaving Miss Megan’s house and getting into a taxi to go to a place called Tilapia.  Now, for all you folks who’ve never been to East Africa, I must describe the road situation for you to understand what happened next.  Most roads in Mwanza have giant ditches on either side for when the heavy rains come.  These ditches are really deep and obviously quite dangerous.  A lot of times there will be a small plank so you can cross and if you miss the plank, you fall into the ditch.  Here’s a photo of what the roads and ditches look like:

Dangerous Ditch!

Anyway, I’m sure you can guess what happened to my mom.  It was pitch dark out (once again an African phenomenon) and mom may have had a couple of Konyagi‘s when she went to get into the taxi she simply stepped off the road (accidentally of course) and toppled straight into the ditch.  In swahili we say, Pole Mama!

So next time you see my mom wish her a belated Happy Birthday (or Hongera wa Kuzaliwa) and ask her how her ankle is doing.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Tito, Master Trainer

Some stuff that has been going on behind the scenes whilst my mom is away:

As the more knowledgable dog in these parts, I have decided to assist Mr. Marcel and take on his buddy Farley as my Padawan (which means “student”, if the force is with you).  AND, let me tell you that this is harder than I thought.

(BTW, Car-jumping is picking up as an extreme dog sport in East Africa since my debut!)

I really don’t remember being a pup, really, I don’t!  They’re so, like, inexperienced and stuff.  I am training Farley in the art of being DOG, which includes activities that require superior movement and agility.

Here I am at breakneck high speed during running training:

Running, full speed!

And this is Farley thinking about doing the same exercise:

Farley, not running

He just REFUSES to listen to me when I say that we need three to play rope skipping games:

Looking for a third…

This is me trying to show Farley how to point to the prey when hunting and stalking.  I don’t see how his tactic works, though, because I use the front left paw as dictated by hundreds of years of evolution.  I use my eyes and he sleeps using his back left paw, go figure!

Will he EVER get it?

The last lesson was playing dead, and …hold on…yes, that’s good Farley, good posture, hold the breathing a bit…DAMN IT, I think he’s sleeping already.  Cheater.

Hmmm, I think he’s too good at this

After that workout, there’s only one thing left to do and that’s to train the body to sleep.  Jedi dogs need their rest too!

May the force be with you, Farley

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.