In world news today, there are stories circulating about the Furuguayan dognitaries who recently visited with First Dog Bo Obama. Here is the story in its entirety:
“WOOFINGTON, D.C.—Aiming to strengthen yiplomatic relations with the nation of Furuguay, Bo Obama welcomed a visiting doglegation from the overseas country to the White House Thursday for talks on a wide range of vital rufforms.
The historic meeting—the first time a sitting Furuguayan dognitary has visited Woofington since the Checkers Administration—began with a traditional photo op on the White House portico, in which the two leaders formally greeted one another by shaking paws. After brief prepared rebarks, Bo and the Furuguayan diplomutts reportedly retired to the South Lawn for a private discussion of minimum wag laws and a pending flea trade agreement.
“Bo and Cesar dug in right away and weren’t afraid to get their paws dirty on the tough issues,” said Bo’s press secretary, Chiclets, noting that the two sides spent hours sitting and speaking, and occasionally chasing squirrels. “Furuguay is a developing nation, and unfortunately much of its poor pupulation lives in abject slobberty. That’s why Bo has agreed to a comprehensive aid package that includes thousands of tons of heartworm medicine and emergency Ken-L Rations.”
“It should just be a formality shepherding the relief bill through both doghouses of Congress,” Chiclets added.
In addition to reaching an aid deal, the two leaders are said to have talked extensively about the ongoing situation in Arfghanistan, where Tailiban insurgents continue to commit heinous acts of terrierism and aggressively defend what they consider their territory. According to sources, Furuguayan officials pledged to deploy several hundred well-trained rovert ops soldiers along the Pugistan border to help multinational FIDO forces sniff out and put down the Muzzlem extremists.
Additionally, both sides vowed to tighten treat sanctions on the disobedient nation of North Corgia.
“Bo and Cesar believe we’ve been chasing our tails for far too long with North Corgia, and agree that it’s time to put our paw down on the matter,” Chiclets said. “We’ve tried waving a big stick in talks with the North Corgians, but they simply refuse to roll over. And we’ve also tried offering them a variety of rewards to bring them under the negotiating table, but to no avail. Listen, we’re not going to beg here.”
“They’re being bad,” Chiclets added. “Very, very bad.”
Following the busy day of negotiations and an exciting ride in the presidential motorcade, the Furuguayan representatives were treated to an extravagant state dinner that is said to have featured a variety of rawhide appetizers, a six-course meal of kibble, chow, and wet food, and a mouth-watering bone dessert, all served in gold-rimmed fine china bowls on the White House’s opulent East Room floor.
According to the guest list, over 300 of the biggest figures in Woofington pawlitics attended the gala event to celebrate the countries’ renewed ties and sniff each other’s anal glands. Among those spotted at the fete were the Barker of the House and Bo’s longtime best friend Barack Obama.
Though there was one instance when bilateral talks were disrupted by a ringing doorbell, handlers strongly praised the two dognitaries, unanimously hailing the visit and state dinner as a major achomplishment for both countries.
“Clawing out agreements is not easy, but I think we made major strides today,” said Chiclets. “We know Furuguay will always remain loyal.”
According to aides, Bo and Fetchury Secretary Marshmallow are slated to travel later this week to Poocharest, Romania for the K-9 summit, which will bring together doglegates from the nine wealthiest purebred nations to seek solutions to the ongoing global felinancial cat-astrophe.” — the Onion
The only thing wrong with this article is that it failed to mention the East Arfrican dognitary (Yours Truly) who was also in attendance. But doesn’t Arfrica always get pushed out of the spotlight? And if my word isn’t enough, here’s visual proof of our very important tête-à-tête.