Last night mom and I had an epic 6 hour battle with the biggest cockroach I’ve ever seen. Let me tell you, that sucker was HUGE! I’m talking the size of a mouse huge. It was so big, I was afraid of it. It was so big I could hear the patter of its little feet as it scampered about MY room.
I was the first to spot this disgusting intruder. I alerted mom by letting out a low growl and staring down the creature as it ran from underneath my bed and across the room to hide underneath mom’s bathroom shelf.
At 10pm mom got up to go to the bathroom and I accompanied her as protection against the evil cockroach. It was then that mom noticed that the cockroach was stealthily climbing up the wall of the bathroom behind her. What mom did next was the fiercest thing I’ve ever seen! Wielding just a shower head, a butt washer, and her iPhone flashlight mom battled the vicious cockroach.
Using these weapons, mom dislodged the cockroach from its perch on the wall, forcing it to floor of the bathroom. She then sprayed it from both angles with the shower head and the butt washer. Once it was a safe distance away, she proceeded to drown the cockroach for 5 minutes until she was sure that it was good and dead. At this point, we were both feeling safe so we went to bed.
At 4am mom woke up to go to the bathroom and, lo and behold, that damn cockroach was STILL alive and had made its way to the far end of the bathroom. So again, mom wielded her weapons and forced that cockroach back towards the drain, again attempting to drown it. This time, mom wanted to make good and sure that the cockroach was dead so she also sprayed half a bottle of permethrin directly onto the cockroach and then drowned it some more. Last but not least, mom grabbed her flip-flop and beat the cockroach to a pulp ensuring that it would never come back to haunt us again. That woman has mad skills!
And there ends the epic story of our 6-hour battle with the biggest cockroach either one of us had ever seen. BRING IT.